Last night I went to see les mis with my boyfriend. After we went to dinner with his family.. They are so different from mine. 6 people all getting along in playful banter! It was amazing as usual.
Getting to the fun part is the alone time… His family owns a lake house about 45 minutes away from our town. We decided we needed a place to ourselves for a few hours.. He bought me a sexy bra and panties set.. Needless to say it was the most amazing day of my life. When I needed a few minutes to rest we talked of our future together. He and I have baby fever, and are running to the altar as soon as we can! We have discussed starting our family within a year..
He said he wanted to make this the night.
So we’ll see what happens.. But I doubt I’ll be having a child in 9 months…
One of them was a senior when I was a freshman, the other is only a year older than me. Why is it that girls who can not support/do not want a baby end up pregnant.. And girls like me who wish they could have a baby, can’t. Every month I monitor when I ovulate, I hope for a small tear in the condom, or go bareback(but he always pulls out..). We are both ready to get married. We are both ready to start our family. The only thing holding us back is money. He has a job, I had a job over the summer and have to finish highschool. But if it were 5 years from now… When it’s socially accecptable to have kids.. We would be the cutest family ever.
What if he went into the airforce? I had a daydream of him not knowing I was pregnant and leaving for a while. What would happen to us?
Last night he called me at 4 a.m. He was all excited and I could hear in his voice that he was smiling. He had a dream and had to tell me about it so he was going to leave a message but I picked up. In my groggy just-woke-up voice I asked him what happened in the dream. He went off about pacing the hallway of a hospital when he heard his name. He entered a room and held my hand as I was in labor. I gave birth to a baby girl with blue eyes, and he said we woke up crying. Tears of joy!!! He kept saying “I wanna be a daddy!” and I almost crawled out of bed to go to him. Why must we be so young? I’d love to have his babies.
Lately I have been paying more attention to my own body. It seems that I know my cycle like a champ. Which is driving me crazy! My sex drive really goes wild when I ovulate, and I do get extra moody before my period. Sorry if this is tmi for some, but I’m not concerned for those who can’t handle a little biology. But because of this new awareness I know the approximate time that I could get pregnant. I want a baby so much more than anything in life. And having a boyfriend who is committed to me 100% and I to him.. It makes it that much easier to make that happen. I know it’s dumb to make it happen right now.. But I can’t help what I want. We would have beautiful children too! My heart aches over this. So whenever I can get pregnant easily.. When he touches me every nerve is on end. I want to take him where he stands. But instead I push him away so I don’t do anything stupid. It’s easy to give in to desires.. And painful to push them away while they tickle you.
